When Autistic and ADHD Kids Hear Things Wrong (Auditory Processing Differences)
- April Woodard
- Sep 25, 2025
- 3 min read
Updated: Jan 9
The Everyday Mix-Ups
You say: “Go put your shoes by the door.”Your child hears: “Go put your toys on the floor.”
You ask: “Can you grab the red cup?”They come back with a spoon.
At first, it feels funny. Then it feels frustrating. Why do they keep mishearing things that seem so simple?
For kids with ADHD or autism, this may not be defiance or inattention. It could be auditory processing differences—when the brain struggles to interpret sound the same way others do.
What It Might Feel Like for Your Child
Imagine listening to a podcast with bad reception. Words cut in and out, static buzzes, and you’re trying to piece together the meaning without asking the speaker to repeat themselves a hundred times. That’s what auditory processing can feel like—frustrating, tiring, and embarrassing.
I’ve felt this too—times when someone spoke quickly, and I caught only half the sentence. By the time I asked for clarification, they’d already moved on. For a child, this happens constantly. No wonder they shut down, guess, or get irritated.
How God Wired the Brain
Auditory processing happens in the brain, not the ears. Kids with processing differences may hear the sounds correctly, but their brain takes longer to decode and make sense of them.
Processing speed → The brain needs extra time to translate sound into meaning.
Background noise → Competing sounds make decoding nearly impossible.
Memory load → Holding instructions in working memory is harder, so details get lost.
It’s not that they’re not listening. Their brain is working double-time to keep up.
Holistic Contributors You Might Not See
Auditory struggles can be intensified by:
Fatigue → A tired brain processes sound more slowly.
Anxiety → Worry distracts from decoding words.
Sensory overload → Noisy rooms overwhelm the system.
Gut and inflammation issues → These can affect neurological processing overall.
The mix-ups are rarely about effort—they’re about capacity.
Grace-Based Strategies That Work
1. Slow Down and Simplify
Short, clear phrases work best. Instead of: “Go upstairs, grab your shoes, and bring down your backpack,” try: “First shoes. Then backpack.”
2. Use Visual Supports
Pair words with pictures, gestures, or written lists. Seeing the instruction helps anchor it.
3. Ask Them to Repeat Back
Not as a test, but as support. “Can you tell me what you heard?” This clears up misunderstandings before frustration hits.
4. Reduce Background Noise
Turn off the TV or move to a quieter space before giving instructions.
5. Stay Patient
When they mishear, correct gently. The goal is clarity, not shame.
Everyday Examples
Morning routine → Lay out clothes the night before instead of giving verbal instructions.
Homework → Provide written directions instead of only oral ones.
Chores → Use a checklist they can see and check off.
What You Can Say (Instead of…)
Instead of: “Weren’t you listening?”Try: “Let’s try that again together.”
Instead of: “You never follow directions.”Try: “I think that was tricky to hear—let me show you another way.”
Instead of: “How many times do I have to tell you?”Try: “I’ll repeat it slowly so it’s easier to remember.”
Scripture to Anchor You Both
God reminds us that listening is more than just hearing:
“Let the wise listen and add to their learning.” — Proverbs 1:5
True listening takes patience, clarity, and grace.
Encouragement for the Journey
When your child mishears directions, it’s easy to get frustrated. But remember: they’re not ignoring you. Their brain is wired to process differently.
Every time you slow down, simplify, or provide a visual, you’re not just helping them complete a task—you’re showing them they are worth the extra patience. You’re teaching them that communication is a two-way street, and that their differences don’t make them less.
One day, that same child who struggles to decode words may grow into an adult who listens deeply to others—because they know what it’s like to fight to be understood. And that kind of empathy is a gift.
✨ If this hit home for you, there’s so much more waiting inside my book, Beautifully Wired. It’s filled with science explained simply, faith-based encouragement, and practical strategies to help you understand your child—and yourself—on this journey. Go check it out today and keep building your parenting toolbox.
Comments